Making Every Contact With a Hiring Manager Count

February 13th, 2013 § 0 comments

As a follow-up to our last comments about Thank You notes, today’s question comes from a jobseeker looking to both express gratitude to an interviewer and schedule a follow-up appointment. John completed two rounds of interviews for an Analyst position at a fund and was asked by hiring manager to schedule a return visit. Here’s his draft of the email:

Mr. Hiring Manager,

Thank you very much for the invitation to come in for a third round interview regarding the Analyst opportunity at ABC Investments. I appreciate the opportunity and I will gladly make myself at your convenience. I look forward to speaking with all of you again and hope I can cement why I would be a great addition to your already successful global securities platform. Again, I remain extremely excited about the possibility of contributing to your team and the ABC global platform in the near future.

Thanks,
John Analyst

This response isn’t awful but it does sound canned, formulaic and generic. There are a lot of words but little content. It contains much lauding but nothing about who John is or why he’s interested. When writing an email, a cover letter, a thank you note or any communication with a hiring manager, you’ve asked for a short window of their time. Ensure you’ve wisely chosen your phrasing so that at the end of those 15 seconds, the recipient has a more positive outlook on the applicant then before they opened the email.

John’s also giving no specific availability for a return visit to the fund. In his mind, he’s looking to appear flexible but in the context of this note – coupled with the brown nosing – it makes him seem desperate and more interested in a job than the opportunity. No one should seem so idle and dormant in their job search to have complete and total availability.

In this revised draft, we’ll use what we learned in our Thank You note post and also change how John approaches the scheduling. Rather than being available immediately and any time, John can give large blocks of time over several days that won’t make coordination difficult but also shows that John has obligations and interest from other firms as well.

Mr. Hiring Manager,

I appreciate your time today and am pleased that you’ve asked me to return to meet with ABC Investment’s trading team. I came away from our meeting today with a great sense of how you invest and how my sector exposure would complement your analyst team. I’m also confident my high yield and Yankee issuer experience will allow me to quickly acclimate to your strategy.

I can be available Monday after 12pm, at any time on Tuesday and before 2pm on Wednesday. I look forward to seeing you again and thank you for the opportunity.

Best,
John Analyst

This revision has only nine more words but says so much more. It’s relevant to the interview and should engage the reader because it’s not generic. It feels written specifically for this purpose – because it was. The first version could have been sent to any job, at any company, for nearly any reason. These small efforts and investments of time are noticed and distinguish you from the majority of job seekers who, while potentially qualified, are lackadaisical in their efforts and can be beaten in the competition that is an interview process.

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